The Drowning Me

I was going to meet Arajikta after 10 years. I asked her specially to meet me at the park in the colony. We used to play there together in our childhood. We sat on the bench. After a few hours, she broke the silence and asked. “How’s your life now?” “It’s fine.” I lied and “yours?” I asked. “Yeah! It’s good.” Again silence was there. We both were staring the ground, the swings and slides. A lot of memories connected to these pieces of iron joined together. Although they ain’t living still they have our childhood, innocence, smile, emotions. And the most important thing ‘Our Freedom’. After she left me alone, I was angry at her for so long. I could feel the rage beneath my skin. I didn’t want to ruin this meeting. After all it was a very long period. My eyes wanted to see her as long as they got to see what they missed all these years. “You remember we used to play here?” She said. And hearing the word ‘we’. I was like fuck! Did you even remember? you left me here alone! But I didn’t say anything. “Hmm!” I replied. “After that I had to leave.” She said. And at this point I couldn’t control myself. I did stand. “We should leave now!” I said angrily. “What happened?” She was shocked. “Before I do say something wrong! We should leave!” I said in a rude tone. “What happened anki?” She said politely. Tears rolled out of my eyes. I turned to another side. She asked again. “You left me without giving a chance to say goodbye, why?” I asked, tears were rolling out. She was quiet.

“You knew, you were my only friend. That day you left the park soon. Later I was searching for you. You know that day I fell, I cried a lot, not because my knee hurt, but because you weren’t there for me. And next morning when I went to your home, you were gone. Why did you do this to me?” I was telling her everything continuously. I wanted to hug her and slap her that she did leave me. But I didn’t. We both were quiet, staring down at our shoes. We used to do it when we were child.
“It was your right knee?” She said.
“What?” I asked.
“That day when you fell, your right knee got hurted.” She said.
I was surprised, how could she knew. She did leave.
“I was there crying, (she pointed toward the tree) was watching you until went to home.” She said. I could notice the tears in her eyes.
“In the morning, I came to see you and I wanted to give you this letter but I couldn’t and ran back” She gave me the letter. It was folded and pressed like it was kept between a book or something.The only word I could say at that time was, “Why?” “I couldn’t say goodbye to you, It was so hard for me.” She said. “You know Romil? He used to tell me everything about you, and then you too left this place” she added.
I was quiet. I couldn’t even say a word. “How’s your life now?” She asked again.
“I told you!” I said annoyingly.
“You were lying” your eyes still blink when you lie. I was like you still remember that! But I didn’t say it.
“Well it’s fucked! And you lied too.
How’s yours?” I asked.
“Same as yours!” She laughed. I was watching her laughing.
That day I learn that no matter how much you know someone’s story. There are still some hidden parts. Some unsaid words. Such emotions which we can’t describe in words. Some unknown feelings. And a lot more. Sometime your own thought drown you.

dark_anki